This contest is the creation of the self-proclaimed “World-renowned eye surgeon” (and all-around glory hound) Dr. Brian Boxer Wachler.

This reminds me of a contest I saw on the news recently, at one of the strip clubs near the Austin airport. They called their contest “Stripper Idol,” and they were sent a cease-and-desist notice from the company behind American Idol. The Lasik version is just an unoriginal twist on something hundreds of other businesses have done.

To enter the contest, contestants (i.e., viable business leads for the good doctor) simply have to sing and dance like a trained monkey, film it, and then submit the video through a special website set up for the purpose. That’s the gist of it. You humiliate yourself, and the Lasik surgeon gets hundreds or thousands of business leads from people seeking Lasik surgery.

Shrewd marketing or shameless promotion? You be the judge.

Personally, I will file this one under “I” for “I love myself.” But what else would you expect from somebody who uses his own face as a website logo — someone who glamorizes a medical procedure that has serious risks?

The contest is open to California residents 21 years or older [who have no sense of self worth]. The part in brackets is an editorial contribution.

The agencies involved are the National Eye Institute, the Food and Drug Administration, and the Defense Department. They have combined forces to conduct a three-year study to find out how many patients are having negative symptoms following a Lasik procedure. Patients frequently report having problems after this type of eye surgery, and it has many health professionals concerned. That is in part what prompted this study.

The FDA also issued “reminder” letters to more than a dozen Lasik centers recently. The centers had failed to report patient complaints following eye surgeries, which they are required to do by law.

Common Problems with the Surgery

Lasik (laser-assisted in situ keratomileusis) surgeries have been conducted in the United States for nearly twenty year. Each year, more than a million people undergo Lasik surgery to correct their vision. Many of these people report having problems after the procedure — problems that range from mild and temporary on one hand, to sever and persistent on the other.

But how common are Lasik problems anyway? According to data collected over the last few years, approximately 5% of patients report having problems of some kind. Common complaints include the following:

• Dry-eye syndrome
• Poorer vision than what they had before the surgery
• Troublesome “halos” appearing around objects
• Glares around objects

In more extreme cases, patients have actually gone blind after having a Lasik surgery procedure. These cases are far less common than the ones listed above, but it has happened often enough to raise concern among health officials.

The real problem with all of this is the serious lack of study. That’s what has prompted the three-year study by these government agencies. In the past, there has been a lack of reporting, data collection and health monitoring — on a nationwide scale. So the percentage of patients who have Lasik problems could actually be higher than 5 percent.

To support this new study, the FDA is going to launch a web-based survey to keep track of patient complaints, post-surgery problems and the like. It’s the first time such a comprehensive survey has been conducted on the long-term effects of Lasik procedures. It should reveal some useful data. Time will tell.